Today's Deep Thought

>> Thursday, April 9, 2009

I've decided that it has to be a conspiracy: Maternity pants are designed to make you look like you have the flattest, least attractive ass possible. Even those ridiculously expensive (upwards of $100 for something you'll wear for only a few months) "designer" maternity jeans I gawk over online but would never buy flatten the bottom (if you look at the back view in the online photos). And those models are hot chicks who just happen to be pregnant. If they can't look hot in their jeans, how the hell am I supposed to?

I just don't understand. There should be two butt cheeks. I know my butt is still round, because it looks normal when I wear stretchy pants. So why do my maternity pants flatten everything out? Oh, Stacy and Clinton, where are you when I need you most?!

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About This Blog

Steph and Bill

We officially met at Rowan University, in Bozorth Hall, in publication layout class in January 2003: Bill was a student, I was the professor’s helper. He kept pretending he didn’t know how to make bulleted lists, but I knew he just wanted me to keep running over to his computer.


We basically moved in together and started dating at the same time, and spent a couple of years hanging out and dreaming about the future and driving up and down the NJ Turnpike from our parents houses to “our” apartment in Glassboro, until we both moved back home after graduation from grad school. Where the pressure to get married already really started.


On June 17, 2005, I suggested we go into the city to see the Empire State Building, because it was something neither of us had ever done. On the walk from the train, I put on my left hand a ring he had given me for Christmas — I said I didn’t need a ring to know we were going to get married, and anytime he got around to it was fine. Whatever. Typical Steph-fighting-words.


When we got to the Empire State Building, I tried to go inside, but he kept me outside, saying how big the building was. I said, yeah, that’s great, let’s go inside, and started to walk toward the door. He grabbed my arm and spun me around to kiss and hug me, and said, Take that ring off that hand. If you’re going to have a ring on that hand, it has to be the right one. And he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a box and got down on his knee on the New York concrete and proposed. People coming out of the building stopped to watch. I cried.


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Miss Maeberry

Miss Maeberry came into our lives on March 24, 2007. She was born Jan. 11 of that year in the Poconos, and we rescued her as soon as we could. (Not really, but, well, we were glad to bring her home from the breeders’.) She was a tiny, scared, little bundle of fur … and then she grew up. Aside from the plethora of health issues she has, she’s a bit crazy. But we love her anyway.


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Xavier Shea

The love of all of our lives, and the main subject of this blog. Xavier came into our lives on Aug. 1, 2009, and quickly shot up both on the growth charts and in our hearts.


Let’s not waste anymore time here and just get to it, shall we?

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